Guide for families

What to Do When Someone Dies: A First 72 Hours Checklist for Families

Losing someone is hard enough without a long to-do list. The good news is that very little has to happen in the first few days, and most of it is a handful of phone calls. This guide puts the first 72 hours in order, then lists what usually comes in the weeks after. Take it one line at a time.

Prefer paper? Download the free 2-page First 72 Hours checklist (PDF) and keep it on the fridge.

First, a calm reminder

You do not have to do everything today. In the first hours the only real decisions are making sure the death is legally pronounced and choosing where the person will be cared for. Almost everything else can wait. Ask one friend or family member to be your point person, and keep a notebook for names, dates and phone numbers.

In the first few hours

1. Get a legal pronouncement of death. If the death was unexpected and the person has not been pronounced, call 911. If the person was under hospice care at home, call the hospice nurse line instead; they will come, make the pronouncement and guide you. In a hospital or care facility, the staff handle this and will ask which funeral home to call.
2. Mention organ or tissue donation right away. If the person wanted to donate, tell the hospital or care team immediately, because timing can matter.
3. Call the people who need to hear first. If the person left a list or a binder, start with "who to call first." It is fine to ask one person to pass the news along to others.
4. Contact a funeral home or cremation provider. Call the one named in their wishes, or choose one. Funeral homes in the US are required by a federal rule, the FTC Funeral Rule, to give you an itemized price list when you ask. You can say you need a little time before deciding on details.
5. Ask about death certificates. The funeral home usually files the certificate with the state and can order certified copies. Many families find they need around ten, because banks, insurers and agencies each want an official copy. Fees vary by state, and more can usually be ordered later from the state or county vital records office.

On the first and second day

• Look for their wishes. A will, a trust, funeral pre-arrangements, a letter or an emergency binder may say what the person wanted. Do not distribute belongings or money yet.
• Arrange care. Make sure children, pets and anyone who depended on the person are looked after.
• Secure the home. Lock up, collect the mail, put valuables away, and set medications aside safely. Disposal can wait; many pharmacies accept leftover medication later. If the service time will be published, consider asking a friend to keep an eye on the house while everyone is away.
• Tell the employer. Ask about final pay, benefits and any life insurance offered through work.
• Do not close accounts or cancel phones yet. Email, phones and online accounts are often the easiest way to find bills and assets, and phones may be needed for security codes.
• Go slowly with money. In most situations family members are not personally responsible for a person's debts, though there are exceptions, such as joint accounts or co-signed loans, and rules vary by state. If someone demands payment right away, ask for it in writing and talk to an attorney first.

By day three

• Plan the service. Work out the details with the funeral home, including any obituary. Veterans may be eligible for military honors and certain burial benefits, and the funeral director can help request them; have the discharge papers (DD-214) ready if you can find them.
• Gather key papers. Identification, insurance policies, recent statements and anything listing accounts. Make copies and keep the originals safe.
• Start a call log. Record the date, who you spoke to and any reference number. You will be glad of it later.
• Look after yourself. Eat something, rest when you can and say yes when people offer help. If grief feels like too much, you can call or text 988 at any time to talk with someone.

The next 30 to 90 days

Most of this can wait until after the funeral. Work through it at your own pace.

1. Social Security. The funeral home often reports the death, but confirm it with the Social Security Administration and ask whether a surviving spouse or children qualify for benefits. A payment that arrives after the person's death may need to be returned, so ask before spending it.
2. Life insurance and other benefits. File claims with the companies listed in their papers. Check pensions, retirement accounts, union and veterans benefits too. Each usually asks for a certified death certificate.
3. The will and the estate. Many states require the original will to be filed with the local probate court within a set time, so ask an estate attorney early. They can tell you whether probate is needed, whether a shortcut for small estates exists in your state, and who the executor should be in practice.
4. Banks and credit. Tell the banks and credit card companies. Ask the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion) to place a deceased alert on the person's file, which helps guard against identity theft.
5. Bills. Keep essentials such as housing, utilities and insurance paid, and cancel what is not needed. Contact the mortgage servicer or landlord early.
6. Taxes. Ask an accountant about the final income tax return and whether the estate needs its own.
7. Digital accounts. Cancel subscriptions that keep charging a card. Apple, Google and Facebook each offer ways to memorialize or close an account. Keep the phone number active until the important accounts are secured.
8. Government and everyday records. Notify the DMV about the license and vehicle titles, the post office for mail forwarding, and election officials. If other family members were on the person's health insurance, ask about continuing their coverage promptly.
9. Support. Hospice programs often offer free grief support to families for a time after a death, and faith communities, counselors and support groups can help too.

Frequently asked questions

What is the first thing to do when someone dies?

If the death was unexpected and the person has not been pronounced, call 911. If they were under hospice care, call the hospice nurse line. In a hospital or care facility, the staff handle the pronouncement. After that, let close family know and contact a funeral home.

How many death certificates do I need?

Many families find they need around ten certified copies, because banks, insurers and agencies each ask for an official one. The funeral home can usually order them, and more can be ordered later from the state or county vital records office. Fees vary by state.

Do I have to decide on funeral details right away?

No. You can take a little time. Funeral homes in the US are required to give you an itemized price list when you ask, so you can compare before you decide.

Can I close their accounts and phone right away?

It is better to wait. Email, phones and online accounts often help you find bills and assets, and a phone may be needed for security codes. Cancel subscriptions that keep charging, but hold off on closing core accounts until you know what is there.

Does this checklist apply in every state?

It is a general guide for the United States. Death certificate procedures, probate rules and deadlines differ by state, so check with your funeral director or an estate attorney.

AuraByRobbie sells The Paper Trail on Etsy. This guide is general information, not legal, tax, financial or medical advice.