Early Christmas Is a Lifestyle

Bram Okafor put up his Christmas lights on October nineteenth, and the entire street had opinions about it.

"It isn't even Halloween," said the woman next door, holding a pumpkin like evidence.

"Early planning," said Bram, from the top of the ladder, holding a strand of Brightown string lights and a mouthful of tiny clips. He had a theory that anyone who strung lights in cold weather was always happier than anyone who strung them in a panic in December, and he intended to prove it with warm white bulbs and a very long extension cord.

By evening the porch glowed, the neighbor had stopped objecting, and Bram celebrated by making a ridiculous amount of sweet potato fries in his Ninja air fryer. He ate them on the steps in a hat, grinning at his own front yard.

His sister Ifeoma called just then, and he told her the whole saga while she laughed so hard she had to put the phone down. In reply she mailed him an early present, the Revolution advent calendar, with a note that said: "If you're starting December in October, you may as well start the countdown, too."

He opened the first door that night. It was a tiny lip gloss. He wore it to the mailbox, with great ceremony.

Back in the real world: the Brightown set is a 100-count, 20-foot string of Christmas lights, the Ninja is a 6.5-quart air fryer, and the Revolution advent calendar is a 24-piece makeup set; the story is fiction, and prices are what I saw on Amazon on Oct 13 and can change.